Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
