no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
