I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
