i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
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Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
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I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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