I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
