I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
