sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
