i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
