haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
