I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
