So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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