real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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