Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
