Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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