I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
