she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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