YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
