Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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