Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have feelings that need drinking.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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