As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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