i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
