If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
