Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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