Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
