"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I did not marry a roomba.
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