The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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