So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It's just like the Real World with babies
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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