I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
