"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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