I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
