DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
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I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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