His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I understand Curling. That high.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
