she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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