I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
