Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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