You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
