you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
