that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
