I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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