The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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