Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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