It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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