4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
