Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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