How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
