OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
ttyl tear gas
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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