I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I understand Curling. That high.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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