We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
