I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
