I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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