I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
