I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
