the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
