Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
