she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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