That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You may now shotgun with the bride
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
