ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
