Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
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