I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
