So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize