The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize