But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
