this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
