I'm jealous of your bromance
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
