I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize
