Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
